Things I learned this weekend:

1.  You can be whoever you want to be in a bar.  Last night, I was a professional comedian from Kansas City, making my way to Chicago and hoping to eventually make it big in the Big Apple.  The thing is, the guys we told believed me.  And it wasn't just stupid shmucks we were talking to (I mean come on, do I waste my time on those types .... anymore?)  These were people who were professionals and of course with my quick wit I was able to be believed.  I told them I was in town for a girls night out and I needed material.  They gave me plenty!!

2. Again, you can be who ever you want to be.  Last night, I was Amber.  Amber Rose, which just happens to be my favorite Victoria Secret perfume.  Thankfully the crowd I was with heard me introduce myself as that and played along with. 

3.  Whenever you think you are the oldest person in the bar, there is always a lady that looks rode hard, and put away wet, with a banana clip in her hair.

4.  Alcohol does allow people to open up and be honest.  I'm so glad a friend of mine finally admitted she wants to be like me.  I mean, who can blame her, I am the definition of awesomeness. She is already a few steps towards her goal, she owns an Equinox and has a little boy, and a great body. And she has great taste in clothes and friends!!

5.  Whenever you think you are the oldest person in the bar because the banana clip girl left, in comes the man with the official Civil War hat.  And when you ask him if he was grey or blue,  but doesn't smile, you know HE'S too old to be in a bar. Especially Amber Rose who is looking for material for her next stand up comedy gig.

6.  If you are able to convince the waitress not to suck helium out of a balloon that is in the shape of a 40, you are doing the world a service.  And when you tie that balloon onto your purse and walk around with it, everyone in the bar tells you that you look great for 40, you don't look over 28, etc. It was a built in compliment balloon.  I'm thinking of making sure I get one for anytime I go out.  Next time it might be 50 just to see what some people say.

7.  I hate to say it, but blondes do have more fun- especially if you are a dyed brunette waiting to make it in to her next hair appointment to become a blonde again.  I think we entertained everyone at the establishment we ate at AND the bar we stopped at.  We may not have been the youngest, hottest or richest- but we were hands down the funnest!! It was like a revolving door for us; people wanted to talk to us, be near us, buy us drinks, play pool against us, touch us, ask us our autographs, buy us new cars, birth our children- you know how it is.  And I can't wait for a night out again when I'm blonde and my "I wanna-be Brooke" friend will be too, and then the cops will have to be called as it will get DANG-ER-OUS!!